Grief’s Birthday Wish

Another birthday I mark in your absence
It’s no easier than the last
I wish, I wish, I wish
A wish that can not be
So, am I to be content with this simple expression?

It seems that is my fate until it isn’t
Your absence left a void impossible to fill
I wish, I wish, I wish
I think we both know what I wish
So, am I to mark these years with sadness and longing?

How does one celebrate a birthday that isn’t?
Just by remembering you on your special day?
I wish, I wish, I wish
A wish that’s just too big
So, instead I’ll think of you, of all you were and still are

I know you’ll feel my love for you on your birthday
The same way we still share our love everyday
I wish, I wish, I wish
I’ll go on wishing anyway
So, today instead of sadness, in my heart I’ll sing to you and watch you smile

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The Christmas Pendulum

Christmas is near
Full of sadness and cheer
Decking the halls and jingling bells
Special drinks from hidden wells

Tears drawn out by revelry
Singing songs in melody
Feeling like tangled lace
Putting on my happy face

Tis the season for mixed emotion
All I want is to be at the ocean
To feel the breeze and taste the salt
Maybe then I won’t feel at fault

Memories of Christmases past
Make the present overcast
Yet to be present is my goal
Enjoy a little happiness without coal

Triumph Over Hate

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Photo credit unknown

Hate has not risen from the depths of hell.  It lay latent in man’s soul waiting to rise again with opportunity.  Bullets fire in rapid succession targeting those historically oppressed and marginalized.  No gun, no bomb, no worries; simply get behind the wheel to enact your fury. Find a bat or a brick and beat somebody or desecrate someone else’s holy site.

What gives you the right? Is it simply that you’re white?

More anti’s than I can count, phobias against anyone with a different religion, skin color or chosen love. The perpetrators of hate think they reign supreme, but hate does not rule. We the People will rise to take back our rights, our sacred sites and our very lives.

What gives you the right? Your history of dominance? Your ability to oppress?

You with your shield, your semi automatic, your slogan hat, your flag of hate that harkens back, you will not prevail. By history you will be listed as a footnote on the wrong side, a dark stain on your country and all of humanity.

Your bygone chants echo the past but with a sour note of desperation, as if you know this may be your final stand.

What gives you the right?  Is it because you can stand hoodless in daylight?

Love and tolerance will claim their victory,  even if it’s by the blood of the injured and through the tears we shed for the dead.  Weary and beleaguered we will still find cause to celebrate, perhaps not today or tomorrow, but now that we have risen together we will see that love conquers hate.

NEVER AGAIN IS NOW

 

Caught In A Web Of Fear

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I am caught in a web, a web of deception and lies, a web of fear.  It whispers constantly in my ears; no, can’t, don’t. Danger is everywhere. I lay in it’s web, paralyzed by the anxiety fear has wrought. I know fear lies; yet I still lay motionless as it creeps closer, ready to spin me ever tighter in its never-ending cycle. I am it’s prey, helplessly stuck, just waiting for it to feast upon me.

Garage Sale

I walk the tight isles haphazardly set up in the oversized garage. So much is packed into the space it’s impossible to focus my eyes on any one thing. My wife was a collector, he says. She passed away recently. We chat as I try not to stumble while navigating the maze of tables and shelves. He lost his wife nearly a year ago. They were married 58 years. She had a lot of collections as well as multiple examples of household items. The years of her life on display.  Her life’s work up for sale.

I understand there is pleasure in collecting. Satisfaction from the hunt for a missing piece or special memento. I collected things for a while myself. Until things began to lose their meaning and the act of collecting became a distraction and a way to escape from reality.

When my reality crashed, I let them go, save for a few items that held special meaning in my life or were an item of remembrance from a loved one. After the purge I felt lighter, less tied to things, and more open to the richness of nature and people. Now I collect birds in song, butterflies in flight, and clouds in the sky. I treasure the people in my life, the new ones I meet and the stranger in the street. The Passing glances, smiles, a chance encounter, or a brief interaction.

Everyone should have something special in their lives that remind them of happy times or special loved ones. If you collect something that is meaningful to you, treasure it, revel in the joy it brings you, and perhaps pass it on.

In acknowledging the impermanence of life I strive to travel lightly. I do my best to appreciate what the universe puts in my path to see, feel, and experience. Those things you won’t find at a garage sale, which is fine by me, because I don’t want to end up a garage sale.