Thoughts Not of Cakes and Candles

 

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Another year has passed, marked on the calendar that is me. Like a blink of an eye or the slow movement of a glacier, depending on the day, mood or perspective.

A year of waiting, my life in limbo. A year of pain, trials, procedures and emotions; non-linear, full of ups and downs, but always returning to purgatory.

For all that is uncertain, the constants of love, support, and my appreciation for those by my side are juxtaposed.

Life unfolds as the universe will have it unfold. I am here, grateful just to be, for I have persisted and continue on the journey that is me.

Luckily, I do not journey alone. I am thankful I am able to give and receive love. I am thankful I can remember to pause and feel the warmth of the sun, see the clouds above me, hear the birdsong and appreciate all the beauty that the universe presents to me daily.

Love, Light & Peace…..Always

One Moment of Beauty

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I am always cognizant that we are surrounded by beauty.  Even during the most difficult of times you can find at least one moment of beauty in any given day.  Whether you seek it or not, you’ll find it just the same.  Today it might be the subtle sound of water as it laps at the shore, tomorrow a sunset.   A kind gesture, a strangers smile, whatever it is recognize it for what it is; a moment of pure bliss.

Be of open heart, pause, listen, feel, and experience it in all it’s wonder for each moment is unique. Experience life with gratitude and love no matter your struggles.

Caught In A Web Of Fear

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I am caught in a web, a web of deception and lies, a web of fear.  It whispers constantly in my ears; no, can’t, don’t. Danger is everywhere. I lay in it’s web, paralyzed by the anxiety fear has wrought. I know fear lies; yet I still lay motionless as it creeps closer, ready to spin me ever tighter in its never-ending cycle. I am it’s prey, helplessly stuck, just waiting for it to feast upon me.

One Less Birdsong

The grey and yellow little bird lay dead, cradled in the grass. It’s song forever silenced.  Tears welled as I removed the delicate creature fallen from flight. I’ve thought about the bird all day with a feeling of heaviness in my heart, as I do for all creatures of the universe.  Perhaps finding this lifeless bird signifies an end and a new beginning of something for me.

If it’s death was to portend for me then I am grateful for it’s sacrifice, but tomorrow when I listen to the birdsongs I will know there is one less song being sung.

 

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Realities and Dreams

 

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Can’t manage a job
but I still have my will
I have no money
won’t swallow the pill

beaten down and hurting
I have nothing to hide
working hard each day
I still have my pride

need a helping hand
a dollar in my hat
just wanting for godspeed
the wind at my back

no shame in needing
I still have my dreams
even if they’re fraying
I’ll hold them by their seems

Butterfly Block

I realized I haven’t written a blog since before election day.  Lot’s to blog about but I’ve been having trouble getting it down.  I’ve been doing more which is good, taking time to pause and appreciate each moment as best as I can.  So instead of focusing on writers block, I’ll just focus on the butterfly. The blogging will resume later. fullsizeoutput_a92