Anxiety’s Mind Trap: Rumination

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A mind trap, if left unchallenged, can take you down the drain of worry, despair, longing, and loneliness. A whirlpool of anxiety ridden emotions swimming in the mind. One word that encapsulates the very essence of a mind trap is rumination. Rumination is defined as “contemplation or reflection, which may be become persistent, and recurrent worrying or brooding”.

That sums up for me, with multiple diagnoses, the tendency of my mind to get stuck on receptive thoughts. Thoughts that dwell in the past; longing for how things were in a time I think was better or when my functional capacity was greater. Conversely, my mind might jump to future worry. Dreading the awful things to come tomorrow or the next day. Future mind plots, schemes, and runs all contingency plans in order attain security in a potential situation or to gain control of something that, in reality, I have no control over. A mind trap at full throttle.

Medications help temper my thoughts and emotions. Therapy methods help me deal with the thoughts when they arise. I can battle furiously, often times subduing the overwhelming thoughts. However, in my current state of health, no amount of drugs and no amount of therapy can totally eliminate my anxious negative thoughts. I am never far from the whirlpool that hovers over the drain that contains a mind trap.

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