If you’ve read my blog then you will have read my experience with Klonopin and my subsequent desire for a new drug. If you haven’t read them they are several posts down, easily accessible if you are interested.
The latest in the drug trials of my life is that I was in fact convinced Klonopin wasn’t right for me and I did complain about it to my doctor. I requested to try Xanax XR instead. That seemed to be a mistake. Xanax XR, although billed and marketed as a once a day tablet does not last all day long. Oddly, I swear I could feel when it was dispensing its so called extended release. It was smoother, more metered than me individually dosing Xanax IR but not markedly so. Except for the extreme inconsistencies of the ups and downs attributable to the IR’s short life span, the other side effects were pretty much the same; and that’s not a good thing.
It seems whichever medication I am on I am still having elevated levels of anxiety. I’ve had to dig a bit deeper and began to realize that I have some other issues going on. The way I’ve been feeling had me thinking twice about my ability to properly evaluate these drugs. Combined with my sensitivity to drugs, and any changes in my regime, it seemed as though I didn’t know what was causing what. Some of the side effects I attributed to Klonopin may have been simply me and a side effect of my conditions rather than the medication.
Taking Xanax XR was slightly better than taking Xanax IR but I felt it too failed to adequately dampen my anxiety to a functioning level. I thought I needed a dose adjustment. I walked into my doctors office ready to stick Xanax XR asking for the dosage to be adjusted but walked out his office back on Klonopin.
In talking to my doctor and going over the past month I believe there is something else at play going on within me that is at worst causing additional side effects and at best is preventing me from properly evaluating the drugs. I seem to be overriding the drugs with my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. After considering all factors I decided to give Klonopin another go. It definitely has a smoother more balanced feel and I may have blamed it for side effects that came from elsewhere. I am more confused than ever about what is the right medication for me.
I am going to spend more time with mindfulness practices and try to get back in tune with myself. I need to know who’s on first before I can be jumping around with medications. Right now I can’t tell what causes what and I can’t determine what symptoms are a result of my conditions or medication side effects.
Time to try and right the ship. Something has changed and I intend to find out what. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.