Invisible demons in a private life

Anxiety, panic, and depression are often invisible and misunderstood. I’ve maintained my outward so called normalcy for a long time, managing daily activities like working and socializing until the day recently when I no longer could.

I’ve always been a private and independent person living away from my family the majority of my life. Some of my family gauges my well-being on two questions:  how’s work, and is everything ok?  No crisis to report means all is well. It became easy to leave the details of my daily struggles out of the family conversation.

I’ve reached the point now where I have the difficult task of explaining my illness to family and friends. An illness that to them has appeared suddenly. I’m trying to explain the progression of an illness that follows no set course, has been building for years, and is now beyond my ability to control.

It’s challenging, frustrating, and sometimes I feel like it’s impossible. I didn’t break a arm or a leg. There is no cast to wear for anxiety. It’s not a cold or flu that will clear within a week or two. It’s emotions, fears, and their physical manisfestations that are sometimes hard to put into words for myself much less explain them to someone else.   Wish me luck.


3 thoughts on “Invisible demons in a private life

  1. I wish you luck. One of the amazing things about living in the 21st century is that we have access to trained professionals that offer us support and companionship. I don’t believe that our every needs can be met by friends and family. It is easy to feel like we’re being punished for being in pain but it really isn’t. Needing emotional support is a normal part of life. Being independent means that we should be resourceful when we need that. I also hope that you are receiving the care and support you need from those who are able to provide it.


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